02 October, 2005 | 9:20 p.m.
Broke & Cooking In Hotpants

Not only am I only 4 days away from seeing my love, I'm also done with my essay on British politics and I'm having a good hair day.

What I'm not having, is a good money day. I had to transfer some money from a savings account I have, just to be able to pay my rent. Unfortunately, I also have to buy my godchild (can you say that? If you're its godmother?) a christening present, it's a beautiful gold heart but it's pricey and perfect.

The annoying thing is, I've worked a lot lately, so I have lots of money coming, but not for another two weeks. So I'm eating noodles and stale bread and surviving on long phone calls with H and reading good books.

I only have one question (and it's age-old too): Why do guys all of a sudden want you when they can't have you? Why is that? Some sort of cosmic rule or something? And why do you need to see your boyfriend often in order to remember how great he is? Is it really love if you have to be reminded?

I'm naivė, that's no secret. However, I'm not stupid. I won't give up my relationship with H just because some cute guy suddenly gives me lots (and I mean lots) of attention. I love H, and have no desire to risk losing him. I can't imagine my life without him, that's just how it is. But I'm fucking vulnerable, being alone and on my own for the first time in my whole life. It's not easy, I'll be the first to admit it.

But now I'll see H again soon and everything will be okay. And soon it's Christmas and we'll be together in Oslo! Yay :)

PS: Are hotpants inapropriate? They're just so comfy and I see no reason why I should change just to go out in the kitchen and make dinner. Strangely enough, one of the guys always show up when I'm cooking in hotpants. Do they have a radar? Because I'm not wearing them every day (too cold for that)!

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< last five
Concert And Camera Concern (Or Rather: "Impatience") - 27 March, 2006
My Windowsill - 20 March, 2006
Crashing Crush - 20 March, 2006
Books! - 19 March, 2006
Sucked In By Lipton - 16 March, 2006